Today I celebrate you Kike.

Well it certainly has been a while. My last blog was reviewed by my brother who happened to be visiting at the time, I remember showing him the blog and receiving it back from him with a good laugh saying.. you are too much! then I knew that was my green flag to hit post. 

There's way too many reasons I could list on why I have not been able to write, one that we probably all experience when we have kids and work full time--  not enough hours in the day. But I guess the real reason is the fact of how difficult it is to articulate a year and a loss that will forever change me.

This past year was a tough one-- on April 16, 2013 I flew to Salt Lake City from Chicago at 9:30am due to land at 12:15 pm, I remember checking my phone just one more time before we took off and texting Chris saying "I miss you guys, can’t wait to be back. I love you" then I text my mom who was staying at our house with the kids and said "I will text you when I land, thank you for taking care of the kids, can’t wait to see you when I get back." While flying to SLC I did what I always do, got my laptop out and cruised through emails and also thinking of a few things I forgot to do or I will need to do when arriving. I remember thinking, Kike never text me last night I should text him when I get to SLC at some point. It was not unusual for us to communicate over text several times a day. At 12:10pm we landed, I turned my phone on and my first few messages happened to be from Chris, Bicho and my cousin Aro; they wanted me to text or call right away-- I knew something was wrong with kike right then because I would have received a text from Kike letting me know something was wrong with someone in the family-- he was always the first to reach out and let us know of any events in Colombia. I picked up the phone shaking-- Chris answered and I could hear his voice of sadness. He said the few words I have not been able to think about or type about for a year... "I am so sorry sweetie, Kike passed away" I quickly went into a state of shock, the airplane was taxing to the gate and I was in tears trying to understand what had happened and trying to process my next steps. A flight attendant help me out of the airplane and offer me assistance finding a flight back, there was a row of empty chairs, I remember seating by the very edge sobbing, thinking of my mom and my sister and how I needed to be with them, on how I w tell the kids. I was able to get on a flight back 1 hour later which got me home eventually sometime that night. I still remember that moment when I heard my sisters voice and when I saw my mom’s face that night. I wanted to make it all better for them I knew how much they were hurting--- bc that is how much I was hurting. That is a day I have had a hard time remembering and typing about. The way you look at life, at your husband at your kids changes completely... but more importantly the way they change for you... to support you, to love you more than you need in that moment to hug you and let you know-- eventually it is going to be ok.

It has been a full of year without him and although I have made peace with the fact that he is ok and no longer with us the toughest thing to go through is an everyday or special days without him, seeing my kids grow without him crushes me bc I know how amazing he was to them. It has been a long long road to today-- a year of tears of remembering but a year that has taught me some very valuable lessons-- a very important one... HOW LUCKY was I to have him for so many years, to share my childhood with a super fun wild brother, from tagging along with his friends to learn how to ride a bike, complex and animated crawling races through the hallway of our house, incredible journeys to setup traps to catch our parents be Santa, all our long nights of hiding from our parents to make it to midnight bc we thought it was so very cool to loving and tormenting our cute little sister... if he could only see her as a mom, he w be so very proud and full of joy... that is when I miss him most.  I have SO SO many memories that will fill my heart with love and laughter forever-- for that I am thankful and a year later I realize we have all been so lucky to have had you for as long as we did... my total gentleman was my kike, always perfectly dressed the guy that you can count on any day any time! an incredible listener and a super cool uncle that left my kids with memories of good laughs and a crazy Spanglish accent.

 

Today I celebrate YOU and the road you have taken us this past year of recovery, the lessons that you taught me and the deep love that still fills my heart and soul. There is not one day that goes by that I don’t think of you-- the difference now is that not every day I cry when I think of you. May time heal the days I do still cry bc I miss talking to you and listening to your voice.

I will always and forever remember you my dear Kikacho... and I will always forever remember one of our last texts in which you told me "sleep well, travel safe-- I miss you" today I say it back "sleep well, travel safe-- I miss you too."

I love you forever. 

Just one regular day

I saw a friend at the grocery today that literally YELLED at me for not writing my blog more often. I told her that I will make an effort to make it happen once a month... when you read my blog today you will realize why I might not have enough time.

My blog is dedicated to my adorable friend Maria Clara Velez who I went to high school with and who I am still very close to! She asked me this week HOW DO YOU DO IT--- and I dont do it by myself I have a crazy amazing support system! and motherhood is just a crazy thing-- you just take one day at a time! I know what an amazing mom she is and I am sure her days are just as crazy  as mine. I love you and miss you Maria!

Wake up at 5am so I can get a run in, I am in Charlotte, NC working and it is maybe 20 degrees warmer than at home so I MUST run. I get my running flashlight and my watch and its a go. I leave the hotel to find out its raining... I got back inside get on treadmill and furious at my self get back out-- 5 miles later im soaked but the feeling of accomplishment was amazing. That also means I might be running late to wash my hair and get ready to go to the office before I go back home.

6am: back from my run! FAST RUSH shower! You must dry your hair
7:15: call the kids and chris wish them a good day tell them I will see them in a few hours
7:30: PACK! oh I forgot to pack my hair is still wet. 
7:45: Meet friends downstairs so we can go grab starbucks quickly
8:00: Starbucks is packed, we have an 8:30am meeting. we have to get out of the car get the hair that took so long to dry wet but WE MUST get out starbucks.
8:30: we are at the office! we made it to the meeting-- starbucks in hand.. we can survive
9:30: one last meeting before we pack up to go home
10:15: we are flying out of the office-- we are 15 minutes late bc of me... my meeting ran long
11:30 go through security and fly to the gate
11:45 breath first sit is not so bad and I made it
2:00 landing after a bumpy ride
2:15 my bag broke-- but how? well must be all the rushing! no time to fix it just run!
2:25 I see my BFF!
2:45 drop bags let sammy out-- fly to school so I can surprise the kids!
3:15pm... here they come they see me and I see them-- their faces every time they see me when I arrive from a trip are priceless like we have not seen each other for years. Teacher gives them the go ahead to come towards mom! we hug and kiss and ughhh! nothing feels like that!
3:30 we get in the car to go home-- bella has so many stories to tell me, lucas is pushing her and rolling his eyes at me because she will not stop talking! 
3:40 we make it home! home sweet home-- should I unpack? emails are coming in like I have not been in the office for years. Get the kids settle so I can check a few important projects.
4:30 finalize emails so I can spend quality time with the kids
5:00 OMG dinner? what am I making for dinner I have been gone just for 4 days but lets check and see what we have! BINGO lucas claims he wants mac and cheese! yes that will be great fast and easy! Chris calls, he has a dinner which means mac and cheese is perfect the kids eat and I can make me a colombian arepa... that will give us enough time to finish homework and get ready for swimming
6:00 my friend sheila picks up --- we have a major carpooling system! I pick up or viceversa it has only been 3 days but I already forgot. maybe chelle picked up either way we left the house at some point for swim practice.
630 while swim practice run to wegmans and get milk for the morning!
8:00 showers after swim practice and a small snack-- review homework make sure everything looks good... bella still talking she still has so much to tell me! I love it
8:35 bella claims if she doesnt practice violin the sky will fall! we must listen to the violin and lucs tries to read... lucas claims bella's violin is not allowing him to concentrate! bella is done! we can read-- they look tired phew... sweet dreams.
8:40 lights out for the kids-- chris calls and wonders how I get them to bed so early and he cant- ;0
8:45-- the dishes--- clean dishes leave the kitchen ready for next day. lunch boxes for school-- review backpacks-- OH NO! the dishwasher was full --- empty and lets get this done!
9:45 on my way upstairs with my tea so I can relax and go to bed
10:30 pm... out!

It is a huge support system from the carpools to my hubby to my amazing friend sheila who my kids love and adore for making them feel like masha is home when she is away! 

It is a crazy life but one that I am thankful and grateful for! I love my family and love seeing them do what they love-- if swimming makes the schedule a crazy one so be it! they love it! Chris supports me knowing how much I love my job and I do the same with him-- because at the end of the day we are here for each other-- most days are crazy and hectic

So... unless I had gotten that run in early am... how was I going to fit it later on?! yes my rule is run or go to the gym in the am or you will find a million excuses not to-- along with a million things to do.

Con Maria y 

Little Colombian: The marathon... A journey of MANY!

Little Colombian: The marathon... A journey of MANY!: Tomorrow we will run at one of the master marathons and the honor to be part of such an amazing event is what has me overwhelmed with joy. I...

The marathon... A journey of MANY!

Tomorrow we will run at one of the master marathons and the honor to be part of such an amazing event is what has me overwhelmed with joy. I'm proud of the training that was not as successful and as hard as what we did last year, but we did what we could being parents and working full time. For that I am proud of Chris of Toni Ann but more importantly of Mike, Bella, Lucas, Francesca, Antonio and Brother... because they are the ones that put up with our training the ones that figure it all out so that we can be out there running for hours over a weekend when we could be with them. We have the joy of having all of them with us tomorrow and that is priceless. Mike I know you think running sucks but you are a huge part of our accomplishment and we love you for that.

Along my journey of running I have dedicated each one of my races to someone... I run because and for family but I ALWAYS dedicate my runs to my dad and mentor. Tomorrow I will just not honor him but also someone that has inspire me beyond words... a little girl that happens not just to be one of a kind but one of our very close friends and one of my daughters best friends... Miss Mackenzie Moore. We enter the journey of a crazy amazing friendship with the Moores 2 years ago when both families where trying to adjust to a new city... it was "love at first sight" the moms became friends the kids became friends and dads are just uncontrollable when they are together.  The Moores started a tough journey of life this year and have inspire us as friends in SO MANY WAYS. Kenzie I had many long runs in which the thought of you and your strength got me through... tomorrow I will be dedicating my run to you as well. Because I am not only proud to call you our friend but I am proud to be part of your journey. Lisa, Justin, Q and K tomorrow will not be an easy run for me but I have confidence that somehow I will finish it and I will bring you that medal!

Toni Ann, you have made me laugh, cry and scream all in a matter of minutes sometimes. You have brought so much joy to my life. Your unconditional friendship is something I cherish and value forever. I cant wait to see us grow older together! Thank you! for making me believe that this is all possible.

To my two best friends... my mom and my sister I know they will be following me and watching, their love and support has gotten me through the craziest times. To my brother who I know thinks running sucks as well... I know how proud I will make him once again tomorrow! To my brother in law who is now a runner and thought I was crazy before... he gets it now! 

To my loves... the 3 adorable people that make me who I am who love me no matter what and that I am so beyond humble and thankful to have... Bella, your smile your sweetness... I cant wait to hear your analysis of my time and the race... Lucas, your abundance of unconditional love... I cant wait to see your dance moves after you see me cross the finish line. Chris (aka baby-babe) My love who made it all happen... how could I have possibly ever thought I could run a marathon... you made me believe I could, you got my gear ready every weekend, you push me out with horrible weather conditions and told me I could do it. You make everything matter, everything better and every moment worth it. I love you.

To my father in law and my mother in law... who are always there supporting our runs and always willing to help us out with the kids! Thank you!
To our family here in Chicago in Colombia, England,our amazing supporters in Ohio and NY specially Seebers, Spindlers and Licciardelos who helped with carpools and play dates to make our runs happen! Thank you for believing we can do it.

Right now the calm before the storm has started... I feel not as nervous but more excited to know that I have all of you in my life and that for you we will crawl the race if we need to!

Daddy... I know you will be watching. I will make you proud. I miss you. I will look at you after I cross the finish line.

1 week Birthday!

Last weekend was a special weekend-- it was Bella's birthday and she has been celebrating ever since ;-o.

Bella was born April 15, 2011. I got up at5am to take a shower and the Dr rushed us to go to the hospital-- it was time.  One thing I remember clearly was when my contractions got really bad I told chris to stop the car ---"I'm going to have the baby here" and he actually pulled over -- as soon as he did I yelled what are you doing? the hormones--- poor men and us with the hormones.

Bella was born at 8:30am through an emergency c-section like with Lucas I had placenta previa and started bleeding inside. Bella was born healthy at 6lbs 5oz and it took me some time to recuperate-- but there she was our first baby! SO unreal... nothing compares to that moment when you feel that this is it forever and how do I love them so much if they were just now born..... I met bella through a video camera. She was in the NICU for the 1st 2 hours-- I remember seeing her and saying she is perfect and she has hair! Bella was born with lots of hair.

Bellas 1st year was a girls dream come true-- I changed her into different outfits multiple times a day-- for a walk- for playtime- for dinner... it was like playing dolls. Soon enough I learn even though she liked dresses-- it was only for special occasions...  :-(

As Bella was growing up she was a shy but playful and happy little girl.  When Lucas was born she became a very active toddler and she made us laugh a lot! When Bella was 3 we started swim lessons because she was extremely scared of the water... 2 years later she became quite the swimmer and before we knew it at 6 years she was asked to join the Cambridge Swim Team in OH.. since then her personality came out more and more and now she is a pretty active -- talkative girl-- loves to try new sports all the time but her love for swimming is adorable.

She is a school and research girl- loves school she is so into it and likes to be extremely organized and know what is the plan for the day the week the month the year-- pretty exhausting at times but hilarious too.

It has been a week long celebration for our Bella she had her first surprise party and has been celebrating all week-- from shopping with mom to ice cream dates with the fam to bossing us around on which movie to watch and what to eat;-0

Happy Birthday My sweet tomboy princess! You are the greatest!!

Now it is official today is the end of the celebration--- 1 week celebrating the colombian way.

Refrigerator Menu

Grocery shopping---ugh such a not fun thing to do.

I have changed the way I grocery shopped the past few months, because of our kids practices and our work schedule we have no choice but to grocery shop over the weekends, when it is crowded BUT there is a new strategy: I HAVE  MENU.

Well, I do remember some of my friends talking about menus for the week.. and all I could think about was... are they crazy who is thinking Friday when it is Monday. Well I am now.  I sit down with Chris and we go over what is going on during the week, from games, to practices, to our runs, concerts if there is no menu dinner ends up being something very impromptu that often times when not planned is not very healthy.

Last week we knew that by the time the kids got home and us done with work if dinner was not planned it was not going to happen. So menu planning has become the greatest strategy.  Like grocery shopping I recommend that you put your menu together when you are NOT hungry. Once you are at the store you stick to what is written and it works. 

Here's the best surprise... your refrigerator is not over crowded (which I cannot stand) I HAVE TO VISUALIZE what we have available... and as far as how it needs to be organized... you can ask Chris about that... I like it lined up and with spaces... as if I was designing a pieces of marketing material.

I am showing a picture of my refrigerator after grocery shopping. And here are a few tips that I keep in mind:

1. I do not wash our strawberries ahead of time because they become soggy and they go bad faster. Between me and Lucas we can inhale strawberries daily.
2. For your vegetables -- I always have a paper towel at the bottom BUT I also wrap some of my veggies in paper towels-- it helps them stay fresh longer (that was my moms tip-- years ago)
3. Left overs are for the next day or they go to the trash... I don't want to know what can possibly build up in food that stays longer than two days that has been cooked.  If it has meat I do not keep it more than a day for sure.
4. I don't buy just in case items I buy items that I need for the week, if I don't need them they will take space.

Oh here is a positive thing about going to Wegmans over the weekend-- specially Saturday AM-- you get to talk to the seafood people they teach you how to make new things- same at the cheese section... and there are all kinds of samples along the way-- that yes I do try a lot of them.

So.. to some I might have a menu so that I can have a clean refrigerator, that might be a good assumption.  But if the menu and the refrigerator make dinner happen then we will take it :)

Happy Grocery Shopping.

The Calm before the Storm

My dear blogger readers it has been so long! I knew committing to an every day blog was crazy but certainly a once a week or twice should be possible, maybe... hopefully --life wrapped around me and next thing I know it has been almost a month-- unacceptable.  Every day I have a million ideas for my blog but just cant seem to find the time to write it.  

We went on vacation for a week and skied our legs away! We spent amazing days and evenings together building memories one day at a time. We came back to swim meets and to Bella making her silver time that she has been hoping for.

Work is still so busy and between traveling here and there and working incredible hours I have managed to start training again.  

I started last week and I'm excited to have logged 18 miles this week-- good start! But can't wait to see the 30 log days! 

The kids finish the swim season soon and our weekends seem a little bit more open... that only means the calm before the storm.  Spring sports are here and before you know it we will be running from Baseball to Softball to Running group to Tennis and Soccer.  Chris and I are trying hard to convince them not to play soccer this Spring... I gave up on them liking it and one free day a week sounds so appealing to all of us. Then I think how do we both fit in our training runs-- it just happens.  One gets up earlier or the other one takes the kids to practice and the other one runs there, it all works out at the end.

Running and running races takes a little bit of planning.  IN the past we have been all over the place from one race to another one.  This year we plan not only to do the same but the planning started a bit sooner.  We are planning family visits and vacations around our races.  I know-- that is kind of crazy but the more planning ahead of time the less stormy it gets on who is running that race or what babysitter is available :)

So here is how the planning starts we scope up in a piece of paper the races that we want to run -- so we are still on step 1... even though I know my husband already signed up for half of those race. Step 2 is fit them into the calendar kids events and family events-- yes Step 2 is the challenge step... I'm not there just yet but step 3 is when you finally have a visual of how many miles you will be running along with races and family activities and it is not only overwhelming but empowering!!!

 

So for now I will go enjoy the calm before the storm.  Bella try-out for Age group at noon today and that is all I have in the calendar... sounds so calm and inviting.  Oh we do have a St Patricks night out that promises not to be calm but crazy! Cheers. Happy St Patricks Day!


Off to run and meet the kids and Chris at the pool!!!

The draft of our running schedule